Calvin Community Church

Planning Your Wedding Service

The following represents a typical wedding service but it is usually possible to rearrange things to make it the way you would like it to be. It looks like a long list but you possibly won't include everything and a service normally takes about 40 minutes.

Clicking on an item in the left column will take you to a fuller explanation.

Where appropriate, the other column links to resources. It might be that you want to modify them or write your own or combine two or whatever. If you do come up with something new, please check the wording with us.

The important thing is that your wedding is the way you want it to be, while still being dignified and a serious commitment before God.

Bridal party enters

You will want to think about what music is to be played as you enter and let the musicians know in plenty of time. Top.

Welcome

I welcome people to the service. Top.

Hymns/Songs

Normally there are two hymns or songs in the service although you may have as many as you like.  The first song is usually a more general one of praise, and the last one is specifically a wedding one.  Thee are some wedding songs written to well-known tunes. Top.

Introduction to Marriage Service

A bit about marriage. Top.

Declaration of Intention

This is optional.  It is intended to say that you have come of your own free will because you want to get married.  However it can sound very similar to the vows, and you may decide not to include it. Some of the suggested wordings are very similar to the vows. Top.

Giving Away/Parental Blessing

The ‘Giving Away’ can seem quaint and old fashioned.  In fact, it is an important recognition by the parents that your marriage is now your first relationship.  It is the leaving of the home so as to enter a new relationship.

It can involve just the bride’s father, another member of her family, both fathers, both parents on one side or all parents or whatever you choose. Top.

Support form friends and family

This is optional. It can be put to the bridal party only or to the whole congregation. It gives those people the chance to express their willingness to support you in your marriage. Top.

Prayer

A prayer for you before you take your vows. Top.

Vows

There are various possible wordings.  It is essential that the vows include some statement indicating that you understand that this is a lifelong commitment.

The vows can be a question which you answer simply saying “I do” or “I will”.  On the other hand, they can be made as a statement, with me leading you through it phrase by phrase, or a statement you make unprompted (either read or memorized). Top.

Exchange of Rings

There can be three parts of the exchange of rings:

·   An introduction expressing the significance of the rings

·   A prayer

·   The words you say to each other as you exchange rings you can choose which parts seem appropriate to you

They are all optional. Top.

Declaration of Marriage

I declare you to be husband and wife. Top.

Blessing

You kneel, or stand, for a blessing. Top.

Communion

Again, this is optional.  Sometimes the couples, as their first act as a married couple, express their unity in one of two ways.  They may receive Communion.  This is really appropriate only where both are Christians.

It is also possible for the whole congregation to receive Communion but, again, it is appropriate when the congregation is largely Christian. Top.

Candles

Sometimes three candles are placed in a candelabra, with the outside two lit before the service.  At this point the bride and groom take one each and with them light the middle candle, and then extinguish the two original candles,  It signifies the “two become one”. Some people choose for the outer candles to be lit by the mothers of the bride and groom, just before the service starts. Top.

Signing of Register

This can be at the end of the service, just before you leave the church.

You might want to consider what music is played during this. Sometimes there is a live music item. Top.

Extra songs

If you plan to have more than two songs, the extra ones could go somewhere around here. There might even be bracket of songs. Top.

Readings

There are usually two readings, although you may choose whatever is appropriate.  There are suggestions above but others can be included.

It is possible to include readings from places other than the Bible, although they need to be suitable for a Christian wedding, and normally there would be at least one Bible reading.

It is possible to have had one or more of the readings earlier in the service, for example, after the introduction to the service.

You can of course, invite a friend or family member to read. Top.

Words of Encouragement/Challenge

This is my opportunity to speak to you. Top.

Closing Prayer & Lord’s Prayer

A prayer for you as you head into your married life.

This is another occasion when you can include others if there are particular people you would like to pray for you. Top.

Notices

Are there any announcements you want me to make e.g. where the wedding breakfast is and when you want people seated? Top.

Song Top.

Benediction Top.

Presentation

Do you want to be introduced to the congregation as Mr and Mrs...? Top.

Music

You can include other music in the service.  You may want to speak the organist about music to be played as the bride comes into the church, during the signing of the register, and as you go from the church, you can also use recorded music or have someone sing a solo or whatever.